Love yourself on Valentine’s Day

Love yourself on Valentine's Day...and every day!

For a bi person, whether or not you are in a relationship, on Valentine’s Day, the most important thing is to love yourself.

Out in the world, there can be a lot of non-acceptance. Maybe your community isn’t bi-friendly. Maybe your family won’t accept that your love and attractions don’t fit in a neat box, or the box of their choosing. Maybe your local gay & lesbian community isn’t bi-friendly either. Maybe there is no bi community in your area. So your acceptance has to come first and foremost from yourself.

Accepting yourself as a bi person is essential to your well-being. Bisexual people (that also includes bi, fluid, pansexual, heteroflexible, homoflexible, people who hate labels or anyone in the bisexual ballpark) who don’t accept themselves are more likely to drink too much, smoke too much, drug too much and have a much higher risk of suicide than the general population, or even lesbian & gay people, who have more support from the lesbian & gay community than bisexual people do.

Love yourself on Valentine’s Day. Or any day.

Join a bi group. If there is none in your area, join one online. Share your issues and concerns with that group. The best antidote for not accepting yourself as bisexual, is being around a group of people who do. Their self-love, self-acceptance, pride in who they are, confidence and sense of being comfortable in their own skin will start to rub off on you. Until you own it yourself.

Start a bi group. If there is no bi group in your area, you can start one. Your local LGBT Center might be supportive and provide free or low-cost space or at least a bulletin board where you can put up fliers. Or you can try starting a group on Meetup. Or advertise in a few local papers—you might be able to get free or affordable event listings and just meet at local cafes, diners or local arts events or fairs. Publish your cell # in case people have questions or if not, stay at the meeting spot for at least an hour to see if people will show up. You can contact other bi groups online for discussion topic suggestions. You can start an email list, Facebook page or Twitter account to announce meetings.

Pamper yourself. If you don’t have a special valentine, be your own. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers and your favorite chocolates. Bake yourself some heart shaped muffins, brownies or cookies—Michael’s has heart-shaped baking pans. Or get a massage, a facial or a manicure. If you'd rather stay home (and save some cash), give yourself a facial, a manicure or draw yourself a bath with bath oil or bath salts (even basic kitchen sea salt with a few drops of your favorite essential oil will work, if you don’t have bath salts.) Make yourself a Valentine’s card signed with red or pink ink and stickers or glitter.

Treat yourself. Go out to dinner, order dinner in or make yourself a special, heart-healthy dinner: broiled fish and steamed broccoli with lemon and basmati brown rice or a baked sweet potato. See a movie, either at the theater or curled up on the couch.

Read a bisexual book. Immerse yourself in a bisexual world. And tonight, read some bisexual erotica with your favorite vibrational device handy. Sweet dreams!