Bisexual Dating: Picking Up Another Woman

How You Get The Girl... How You Get The Girl...
Want to pick up another girl? You don't have that much practice with being the aggressor, the one who makes all the moves, the one who comes up with the witticisms that win her over and get her interest and attention."How are YOU doing?" "Gee, you smell good." "I just love your beautiful eyes." "Want to get out of here and find a quiet place?"

Ah, that's usually what is done to you, when someone is trying to pick you up. You merely react and respond to what is tossed your way, and decide if you are interested enough to say yes and find out more. Well now the shoe is on the other foot. As a bisexual woman seeking out another woman, you need to put yourself out there, be vulnerable to rejection and go after who and what you want.
"So how do I do that?" you ask. Here are a few tips to help you be that aggressive, charming, funny, intriguing girl that she just has to have more of.
Make eye contact.

You know what I mean. When you see that girl who just makes your mouth drop open, or feel you just have to get to know her, get her to look you in the eyes. Do the staring/glancing/I want to get to know you eye contact thing. Let her know you are interested with your eyes.

It sounds like a basic concept, but when you do that eye contact thing, it tells her you are interested in her in a way beyond "I like your hair" or "I like your dress". It's an unspoken agreement that you are sending her the "bi vibe" and waiting for her consensual approval and like-minded return vibe. You'll know it is happening because you'll feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up and feel your heart start to beat more rapidly. This is a very important starting point so don't be shy about it. Look right into her and let her know you like what you see.

Be confident.

Confidence is attractive. She will
be able to see your confidence. You will draw her in with your confidence and how you handle yourself. Focus on things you know and feel good about. Talk to her about the positives. Play your strengths and you'll come off as charming and she'll want to get to know you.

Be subtle.

As in, don't lunge at her as soon as she's within arm's distance and clutch her tightly telling her now that you've found her you'll never let her go. Be a bit mysterious but make it clear you are interested in her. Sometimes less is more. Just don't be too giddy and talk about your lifelong dreams, hopes and aspirations when she's still trying to remember your name. Keep it light and fun.
Figure out what makes you cute and attractive and do that. Yes, look in the mirror and see what kind of faces and expressions you make that can be adorable, cute or sexy. You know what works because undoubtedly you've heard comments from others about "how cute you are when you..." Yeah, that stuff.

Make her laugh.

Just being yourself will usually bring a smile to another person. As long as you don't take yourself too seriously, you're bound to do something which reveals your nervousness around her, which can translate into something humorous. So if you drop something or spill your drink, oh well. Take it in stride and let her know life can be fun with you. Don't forget to compliment her. You know what they say, flattery will get you everywhere! But be honest and truthful. Don't say she's the most beautiful girl in the world unless you believe it. Be yourself and try to relax. Your charm will show through.

Touch her.

This doesn’t mean grab, pinch, maul or squeeze. It also isn't code for "pretend to be a guy and try one of those moves where your arm finds itself around her shoulder or somewhere more intimate, quite by mistake, of course. It does mean to exercise the subtle caress on the inner arm, the touch on the shoulder, subtle stroke across her back or touching her hand. Play it low key, not hard and fast. Tingling caresses go much farther than an obvious grope.

Engage her.

Talk to her about things that matter. Find out her outlook on things that are important to you. Ask her opinion and be interested in what she has to say. She will like you even better if you are a good listener and sound genuinely interested in her views.

Get to know her friends.

You know they say that you can tell a lot about a person by looking at her friends. Well, look at her friends, if and when you get the chance. If she invites you to something that a group is doing, by all means, go. Or you can be clever and invite yourself to some event she mentions she is going to attend. This of course, is after you have already decided you want to get more involved with her.

Go for it.

Leave your shy self at home. There is no room for coyness here. That's what you use when you are being pursued, not when you are the pursuer. No hiding in the corner allowed. Just get out there and approach a girl! Take the initiative! You are a real catch so remember that and feel confident in what you have to offer. It's okay to be nervous. Make it work for you. Go for it, girlfriend!
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Don't ask for her number if you aren't going to call her. Why create a false impression that will lead to disappointment for her and awkward discomfort for you? Just be real about things. She's a big girl and can handle it.

Don't be wishy washy.

There is a difference between being subtle about yourself and being wishy-washy about your interest. Be bold, suggestive and flirty with her so she knows you are definitely interested. Don't be wishy-washy and leave her wondering why she stopped to talk to you. Sexy suggestions are always a turn on for a girl who's looking for fun. Don't worry so much! Just say what you're thinking, within reason, of course. Tell her she's cute. If she argues, focus on something else. If she's anorexic or self conscious about her looks, you will do neither of you a favor by arguing with her about it. Be assertive but gentle.

Don't rely on bad one-liners.

"Were your parents terrorists? Because you're the bomb“ and the "oh so overused and unsuccessful" one-liners that you have heard way too much, are not the way to woo her and make her think you are something special. One-liners are for empty-headed losers who can't think of anything original to say and feel they don't have anything interesting to say anyway. Don't be in that category. Generic one-liners do not take into consideration that every girl is different and some may laugh and others may tell you to go f yourself. So be original. Be yourself. Leave the one-liners for coffee table and bathroom reading material.

Don't drink too much.

Some of us feel more confident after having a drink or two, let's face it. But downing 5 shots and then trying to stand up while contemplating whether you can get from the bar to your car is not how you want to portray yourself to the new girl you are trying to seduce. Don't get too drunk. As soon as you are feeling tipsy, shut it off. Or better yet, don't drink any alcohol at all. Sober is a good thing - jitters and all. Getting drunk leads to poor judgment calls and regrets the next day, so don't go down that road. You want to make a good first impression, right? So keep it moderate.

Don't be too easy.

Yes, even though we are all girls here, it still leaves something to be desired when someone you just met is willing to run to the back room or the ladies room for a quickie. Play it by ear. Leave something to the imagination. You want to leave her wanting more of you. Don't give it all up the first time you meet her - and don't expect her to do that either. Generally rules here.

Don't be a Show Off.

Drawing attention to yourself by wearing gaudy jewelry, obnoxious clothing, weird hats or over-the-top accessories will not win you brownie points. Too much is just that: too much. Also, don't be flashing a wad of money, offering to pay for everyone's drinks or anything else. Again you want to be moderate. It's okay to offer to buy a drink for the girl you are macking on, but not the whole bar. Don't be a show off and you'll look much better. Overstated style is overstated. Better to be understated and surprise her.

Don't get discouraged.

You have to be open to rejection and realize it IS going to happen; not once or twice, but MANY times! So expect it and don't let it stop you or discourage you. It's just the way of the universe. Get used to it. Think of all the guys you've said "no" to and how many rejections they experience on a weekly or monthly basis. A lot, yeah. Just keep your chin up and learn from your mistakes. Change the way you did this or omit doing that, to make yourself more appealing and to demonstrate who you are more genuinely. You can do it. It just takes practice. And persistence. And tenacity. There are plenty of girls out there just waiting for you to show up and hit on them. You just have to find them. Don't Give Up!