How to tell my wife that I am bisexual

Q:I know that telling my wife that I am bisexual would be a whole lot better than keeping it a secret if she is accepting of it. I have recently accepted it myself. When I said the words to myself, "I'm Bi," I felt it was liberating. It took me so long to accept it because I never really thought that I was. I didn't feel attracted to a men until I was in my 20s. I have always lived a heterosexual life, and still have. However, the urges to be with a guy is very strong and I feel that I must give in to them; otherwise, they would never go away. I am afraid of telling my wife because she would never think that I would be this way because I am masculine. We have a child, so our sex life hasn't been going too well as a result. Does anyone have a good way of telling their wife? Do I really need to?


1 I can relate to your situation as I am in the same one. I have not told anyone other than online and the secret is killing me. I want her to know what I am feeling. She knows something is wrong and has told me to put it on paper she also suggested a psychologist to talk with. She has no idea. I want to be free of the pain.
As for telling your wife make sure you know what you are doing and the possible consequences. I have thought through all of them.
I know one day I will tell her, just not yet. I will work through the emotions and its sites like these that really help a lot.
keep strong.

2 Your right it does suck that society feels that way.
I know I want to be with a guy. My relationship with my wife is at the point where we are roommates. I still love her as a friend, as the mother of our kids.
I just hope that she can understand the troubles that I am dealing with.
Give it time, hopefully you will be able explain to her you true feelings.

3 It sounds that you are more interested in men than women, that you have come to the realization that you might be gay. Is that correct? In my case it is a little different, I think. I am very attracted to women still. That hasn't changed. In fact, I look at more women than men. The only time I really look at a man is when we are in a shower of a gym or something like that. For me it's mostly a physical thing. However, I have had those rare moments when I was talking to a guy and just felt something more, the same way I feel when I am attracted to woman, but that doesn't happen very often. But I just can't imagine that I can be intimate with a man in the same way with a women. It's sort of weird that I can imagine having sex with a man, but cannot imagine kissing and cuddling with him. I think your wife probably suspects, where mine doesn't yet. It sounds like the beginning of the end has started with you if you do not do anything about it. I don't know the consequences that you face, but it looks like you probably need to tell her soon. Like I said, she suspects something is wrong. If you are truly bisexual, I think you can still salvage your relationship if that's what you want. If you are gay, then it is best to not fool anyone--your wife, kids, and yourself--by staying in a relationship that has little meaning for you. In the former, you can still have a physical and emotional relationship with our wife. In the latter, it's quite different and you are only prolonging the avoidance of the inevitable: breaking up with your wife and pursing your relationships with men. I think your wife wants to work it out as she has open the door by telling you to write it down. I think she said this for your benefit because she understands that you are having a difficult time with a problem. I think women understand that men have trouble with communicating our feelings about certain things. So maybe it's not as bad for you as you think. I think you will feel a lot better when you do tell her. A big weight will be off of your shoulders. She probably might accept it. I tried telling my wife. I explained to her that most men have had a gay experience in their life. She asked me if I did and I told her yes. Her response was, whatever you did before we met is in the past. She said but don't do it again. The problem is that it was sort of lie to see if I could tell her the truth. I fooled around with a couple of guys, but not completely. You're wife loves you, so she will not leave you the following day. I think it will probably hurt her, but that doesn't mean that she will leave you and that you can not have a marriage still.
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