Bisexual women reveal frustrations of being attracted to men and women

'People think you're either a cheater or a swinger': Bisexual women reveal the frustrations of being attracted to men AND women in secret confessions

  • Bisexual users of secret-sharing app Whisper confessed to their struggles
  • Many women said their sexuality isn't take seriously by friends or lovers
  • Sexpert Tracey Cox says women should stop labelling themselves 

    Bisexuality has become a heated talking point this week in the wake of a Vogue interview that suggested Cara Delevingne's attraction to women could be a 'phase'.

    But according to
    secret-sharing app Whisper, the model isn't the only one to find her sexuality shrouded in misunderstanding, with plenty of women taking the web to share their own woes.
    The anonymous women's struggles range from not being taken seriously by their straight friends to being shunned by lesbians.

    Man yreeled off the quick-judge assumptions they faced from others regarding their choices
    For others, it's a lose-lose situation when approaching other women 
    'It's hard being bisexual,' one woman wrote. 'People think you're either a cheater or a swinger. They don't take us seriously.'
    Another echoed the sentiment, claiming: 'I'm so tired of people saying that bisexuality isn't real. Yes, I like both sexes. No, I am not confused.' 
    Bisexuality has been observed in various human societies and in the animal kingdom throughout history. The term itself, however, was only coined in the 19th century, and it appears many are still sceptical that it even exists to this day.
    'I hate being bisexual,' one woman lamented. 'I'd rather be fully straight or fully lesbian. It's way harder to make people understand the in-between.'
    Another wrote: 'I feel like even though I'm bisexual, I have to prove how queer I am.'
    Celebrities who have identified themselves as bisexual include Anna Paquin, Megan Fox, Rachel Evan Wood, Amber Heard and Drew Barrymore.
    Being bisexual can lead to a minefield of potential struggles, according to female users of secret-sharing app, Whisper
    Being bisexual can lead to a minefield of potential struggles, according to female users of secret-sharing app, Whisper
    A few women said they found it difficult dealing with members of the same sex on the grounds of their sexuality
    A few women said they found it difficult dealing with members of the same sex on the grounds of their sexuality

    Actress Kristen Stewart is also bisexual, according to her mother Jules Stewart, who told the Sunday Mirror this month: 'I've met Kristen's new girlfriend. I accept my daughter loves women and men.'

    Several users of Whisper said they were made to feel inferior by lesbians for confessing their attraction to men. 
    'I'm bisexual,' one stated. 'Most of the people I've dated have been lesbian, not bisexual. Almost every single one has made me feel 'less-than' because I admit that I'm attracted to men sometimes. Sucks.'  

    Another woman wrote: 'As a bi female I feel rejected by straight women because they feel intimated and by lesbian women because they think I'm greedy.'
    Some women find it so hard to explain, they wished they weren't bisexual at all
    Some women find it so hard to explain, they wished they weren't bisexual at all
    Many women were keen to drive home the point that it was others who were unsure about bisexuality, not them
    Many women were keen to drive home the point that it was others who were unsure about bisexuality, not them

    According to HealthResearchFunding.org, 13 per cent of women between the ages of 18 and 44 say they are attracted to both sexes. 
    Most bisexuals will not tell someone about their sexual orientation, however, until at least the age of 20.
    'I don't know how to come out as a bisexual to my friends,' one Whisper user admitted. 'I don't want them to think it's just for attention.'
    'I've been in denial about being bisexual,' another wrote. 'I'm craving being with a woman but I have no idea how to approach them.'
    For others, their fears about coming out were rooted in their family's attitude to bisexuality. 
    Some women were evidentally not quite ready to explore their desires, despite being aware of them
    Some women were evidentally not quite ready to explore their desires, despite being aware of them
    This user had a very troubling revelation about how men have reacted to her sexuality 
    This user had a very troubling revelation about how men have reacted to her sexuality 
    According to HealthResearchFunding.org, most bisexuals won’t tell anyone about their sexual orientation until at least the age of 20
    According to MeetBi.com, most bisexuals won’t tell anyone about their sexual orientation until at least the age of 20

    'I've never allowed myself to have feelings for a woman beyond anything sexual because admitting I'm bi would crush my mother,' one confessed. 
    Another wrote: 'I may be a proud bisexual feminist, but when it comes to approaching my parents about my sexuality, my confidence crumbles.'
    Some women discussed the nature of being with a man and still identifying as bisexual.  
    'I'm a bi woman who is married to a man,' wrote one. 'It's weird that most people just assume that I'm straight, or that I don't like women any more.'
    'I'm a bi woman who could never be with a woman long-term,' another stated. 'I'm sexually attracted to men and women but have always ultimately pictured myself with a husband, not a wife.' 
    One user had a very troubling revelation, writing: 'I'm a chick, and I'm bisexual. The amount of men who have threatened to 'fix me' through rape is terrifying. I shouldn't have to lie to feel safe.'
    For some, their fears about coming out are rooted in their family's attitude to bisexuality
    For some, their fears about coming out are rooted in their family's attitude to bisexuality
    Some women discussed the nature of being with a man and still identifying as bisexual
    Some women discussed the nature of being with a man and still identifying as bisexual
     Others admitted they were still rookies and found it hard to judge the sexual orientation of others
     Others admitted they were still rookies and found it hard to judge the sexual orientation of others

    Several women complained that approaching both men and women as a bisexual can be tricky.
    'I know and accept that I'm bisexual. I just don't know anything about being bisexual,' one wrote. 'My gaydar is awful and I get hella nervous when I meet anybody I think is into me.'
    Another confessed: 'I'm a bi woman and I have a hard time approaching women because I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable.' 
    'I'm a bisexual woman,' stated another. 'When I tell other women about it, they get creeped out as if I've been hitting on them all this while. Please, I have standards.'
    And for at least one woman, double the dating opportunity also means double the odds of failure.  
    'It sucks being bisexual because I get turned down by both genders,' she surmised.
    For at least one woman, double the dating opportunity also means double the odds of failure
    For at least one woman, double the dating opportunity also means double the odds of failure
    Several users of Whisper said they were made to feel inferior by lesbians for confessing their attraction to men
    Several users of Whisper said they were made to feel inferior by lesbians for confessing their attraction to men
    For this user, other women might be attractive but they're not life-partner material  
    For this user, other women might be attractive but they're not life-partner material  

    FEMAIL spoke to relationship expert Tracey Cox about these confessions.
    'It's quite true that female bisexuals often don't get taken seriously,' she said. 'The reason why is that it's seen as cool to be "bi-curious" as a young woman these days.
    'Plenty of celebrities are more than happy to admit to having girl crushes or the odd sexual encounter with a woman.
    'But there's a big difference between bi-curiosity - wondering what it's like to have sex with the same sex and trying it once or twice - and bisexuality - which is being consistently sexually and romantically drawn to both sexes.' 
    This user refers to herself as a 'bisexual feminist' but admits she still feels nervous around her parents 
    This user refers to herself as a 'bisexual feminist' but admits she still feels nervous around her parents 
    This woman is keen to assert that just because she is attracted to other women, it doesn't mean she's drawn to every single one of them 
    This woman is keen to assert that just because she is attracted to other women, it doesn't mean she's drawn to every single one of them 

    Tracy added: 'It can feel alienating. Bisexuality makes heterosexuals nervous because they assume they have the entire population as competition; there is a perception in a certain part of the gay community that bisexuals are "half out of the closet". 
    'The thing is, women especially, are sexually fluid and erotically plastic. We're much better at seeing people as people and looking past gender, to fall for the person inside. 
    'My advice to any woman who's struggling with bisexuality is to stop trying to put a label on herself. 
    'It stops people judging you and leaves you open to finding the right person for you, without trying to conform to an idea of how you should behave.'