So ladies, it's time to take a look and the hard realities of online bisexual dating for women. It's time for you to learn why many bi women succeed and meet other bi women, and why others fail and never meet anyone at all.
The following is direct, and perhaps harsh. But it is real, and it's important that you read this article.
First, if you're straight then the dating world "gets you" and online dating is simple. Just join some dating site, post a picture, create that clever profile message, put a little effort into connecting with other members and Bingo! It's flirt time. Because a female seeking a male has it made! Girls get bombarded with messages from guys because guys scan profiles and, being aggressive, they send a message. In fact, research shows that men originate most dating site mail traffic; on most dating sites 80% of the message traffic is generated by men. Have a few kids or a prior marriage? That's OK, it fits the established profile and is acceptable to many men.
Likewise, if you are a lesbian seeking another lesbian, then you have a pretty good idea of how a relationship may progress; Dating, discovery, a relationship and perhaps even a long term future together. Again, this is a connection between two people that are unencumbered and actively seeking a partner.
So, if you are straight or gay, sit back and read those messages that appear, like "ego presents," in your inbox.
But a simple, traditional and easy to figure relationship is not really what bisexual women are about, is it?
We are seeking, in many cases, someone who will:
1. Accept my existing relationships with husbands, family and children.
2. Be the "third wheel" in my existing relationships.
3. Meet (and perhaps have sexual relationships with) my husband, and accept his input on when and how we should develop a relationship.
4. Find my "guy" (if I have one) as sexually alluring and attractive as I do.
5. Never be a part of my public life, and never meet my other friends, family or co-workers.
6. Be willing to meet my situational needs (location, schedule, available time) by modifying their lives to fit my circumstances.
7. Keep our "secret" about being bi and have a relationship on the down low. That's right, no public signs of affection, or boasting about your "hot" new girlfriend.
8. Fulfill my sexual fantasy, either one on one or with my "man."
9. Accept that to have a relationship with me, you must meet the conditions on my profile page, even though I may have never bothered to complete it.
10. Understand that I may be in a relationship with you, and then decide I want a traditional relationship with a man and a family.
11. Understand that I may want to "try" this, and if it does not work out the way I expect, then you just go away, without heartbreak or remorse.
12. Overlook the absurd and offensive nature of what I am seeking. And do things that I would NEVER do; Like "I want a woman, that I don't know, and have no relationship with, to drive 120 miles to have sex with me and my husband."
So, in many cases, we really don't want you to "date" us at all. We want you to be interested in our "bisexual woman as a package" bundle.
And here's the punchline. According to research studies, bi women are the least likely group to originate messages on dating websites; Or complete their profile, or reach out to others! Many bi women expect to join, lurk in the background, make no effort and make no connections. The expect other members to initiate contact.
It is interesting that bi women's sites that are strictly forums or blogs are successful for all the reasons detailed above. Bi woman can join, and then post away about their fantasies, desires and experiences. But they never actually "connect" with another girl. It's all kind of a sexual "mind fuck" that fulfills all their bisexual needs, in cyberspace, with their bisexual cyber girlfriends. (BTW: 74% of female members on "Bi Women's" forum sites are men.)
Wha....? As the the founders of UsBiGirls, we are often astounded by the expectations of some members; And saddened that some bisexual women treat each other as sexual toys.
So, what does it take to meet a bi women on Meetbi.com?
Start with a complete profile, with an honest assessment of who you are.
Expect to establish a relationship with a woman before you expect her to "do" something for you.
Post a real picture! Who wants to connect with an avatar?
Make a time commitment to search profiles, post on member walls or send PM's (Private Messages) to members. Keep in mind that research shows you must make seven connection/message attempts to get one back and make a "friend."
Verify your account to prove that you are female and real.
Answer your damn mail and get active in a group.
Spend some time chatting with other members.
UsBiGirls has one of the highest connection rates of any dating site on the web, regardless of dating type, as verified by Google. And we are truly free, by women for bi women, and verify more carefully than any other site. So get going, bi girl, and Do It!
And face the fact that if you are having trouble connecting on this site, the principle reason for your failure is most likely because you are doing nothing, and expecting everything.