Married and Bisexual? Happily Ever After with Polyamory

Here is an article of interest to many married bisexual women.
The trend of polyamory that has been surfacing in the last thirty years is not a new idea. Stemming from the Greek word poly meaning "several" or "many", and the Latin word amor meaning "love", polyamory plays with the idea that you should be able to love more than one person at once without the feelings of guilt or betrayal.

It is often thought of as an ethical way of having multiple partners in a relationship, with everyone being completely aware of the people involved.
Everyone has had a crush in some point in their lives, while with a partner. This doesn't mean you love the person you're with any less, and is a completely human reaction. As everyone knows, it happens all the time, and maybe we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves when it does.

Polyamory starts with self-honesty

The growing masses of Americans becoming interested in polyamory are not only a sign of changing times about the thought of relationships in this country, but also an evolution to relationships in general. Be honest with yourself about what you can maintain in a relationship. With ever growing numbers of divorces due to infidelity, polyamory is a wonderful outlet to those people in relationships where monogamy is just not an option.

As humans, we are always going to follow our biological needs and wants, which can sometimes include people who are not our partners. Polyamory is a healthy way to make sure that we stay happy and fulfilled, while keeping our partners cued into our wants and needs.

Polyamory is largely based on the thoughts of ethics, loyalty, and honesty. This form of relationship works best for those who are able to be completely honest with the people they are dating or are married to, and can be a very healthy way to communicate wants and needs to another person that you love. Many polyamorous relationships require sets of rules when first established, so that everyone involved knows exactly what is expected and wanted from them.
When first starting a polygamous-type relationship, you have to be upfront with what will make you happy. Be sure that you are able to be open to the idea of sharing your partner with another person, and that your partner is completely comfortable in knowing that you will be seeing other people in a romantic manor.
Though you might be open to dating other people, your partner might have adverse notions to this. You need to make sure that you have a conversation with your partner with open ears, and an open mind to thoughts and questions that your partner might have for you.

Open Communication

Polyamory requires a massive amount of communication between partners. Unlike swinging or open relationships, polyamory deals with the thought that you are able to love more than one person at once, rather than trying to make the relationships solely sexually based.
Most polyamorous relationships start off with a couple, searching singularly for a secondary relationship. The starting couples, usually called the "primary relationship," are able in most cases to have their own "secondary" relationships.

These "secondary" relationships may, or may not, be tied into the "primary relationship." Couples have many different ways to deal with the dynamics that spawn from the occurring feelings from these relationships.
Open communication is important in a polyamorous relationship not only for keeping happy and healthy thought processes about the feelings resounding in the relationships; but also due to health reasons. If you are planning on being sexually active with another partner in a polyamorous relationship, openly confirm that everyone involved knows rules about protocol including sexual barriers and consent. Should you ask your partner before having sex with someone else? Should you be using condoms? How much contact do you want your primary partner to have with your secondary partner? Should you not speak about intimate contact, or it is an open forum? These are all things to keep in mind before starting a polyamorous relationship.

Finding a Secondary That Works for you

When interviewing friends of mine on how their polyamorous relationships are set up, many of them had guidelines on picking secondary partners that were shown to produce long-lasting and fulfilling relationships. The majority agreed the person being sought after should have experience in being in a polyamorous relationship, or already be in one. This shows that the person is able to deal with this type of relationship without the outcrops of jealousy, envy, or cattiness that can become a problem, and tear apart these kinds of arrangements.
Over half interviewed also agreed that it's important to be able to sit down and have a talk with everyone involved, so that you all know exactly what's expected of the each person in the relationship. To have your primary meet your secondary, and have them be on cordial terms, is a great way to get started with instilling trust. If you know that your partners are able to communicate effectively, they will be able to tell each other if they have issues with the way that the relationship is going. This does a great deal of reducing stress when everyone is able to talk to each other in an unfiltered setting.
Other methods of trying to find a secondary partner may work for you might include things like: a check list of traits that you think are important in a partner, meeting with your secondary's partners, and being sure to find references on the people you're interested in opening up your relationship to.
If the person has been in a polyamorous relationship in the past, ask them why their relationship ended. It might be a good indication on how well they are at communicating and making a relationship last in general.

Developing emotional maturation

As in any type of relationship, polyamory takes constant work and conversation to keep the relationship healthy. The longer you are with a person, the easier it is to know what to expect from them. You're able to facilitate talks to be able to allow your partners to speak their minds, and tell you what's bothering them. This also allows you to be able to share the good times with more than one person. A sign of a healthy polyamorous relationship includes the ability to feel happy for your partner's triumphs and be therewith support for them when they have small setbacks.

Many relationships speak of a feeling of strength gained from being in a polyamorous relationship. Not only does it teach you to be able to let go of things like jealousy and envy, but teaches us to be happy for our partners when we see that they are happy with someone else. Polyamory is a great tool for developing the tools to be self sufficient, independent, and self healing. It is a fabulous way to gain self esteem and worth with the fact that you know that you are capable of having healthy and happy relationships, along with being able to talk through your issues with people in a coherent and productive way.
Some common issues that polyamorous couples have deal with jealousy, not knowing exactly what you want, not being able to communicate your feelings, or trying to find a "unicorn" relationship. "Unicorns" are a popular term for polyamorous couples who want to find one person to complement their already existing relationship. Three person relationships called "triads" are generally a very difficult thing to find in society, as there always seems to be one person left out of the equation. In this situation, one person is always going to be left out as a "third wheel." These "unicorn" type situations are generally thought of like the unicorns of myth and legend: beautiful to imagine, impossible to find, and fleeting in life.

Lasting Commitments

From the happy couples I interviewed (six of whom are married); each has been together for over five years. Keys to a happy polyamorous relationship seem to be easy in theory; constant communication, conversations about wants and needs, not being afraid to tell someone your feelings, and not trying to push your partner into situations where they don't feel safe or comfortable. Polyamory is a great way to exercise your ability to hold a lasting, healthy relationship. I would advise it to anyone trying to figure out if they are ready for a long-lasting marriage or starting a family.

Polyamory is a way to heighten your own sense of emotional responsibility. Taking someone's trust, and earning it, is a great way to make your own relationship much stronger. Being able to prove to a partner that you are able to hold a second relationship, while still holding your primary relationship close to your heart; feels amazing when it's done properly. Knowing that your partners trust you implicitly, and will tell you what's on their mind, is a great feeling to have in any relationship.

If being bi is OK and normal then why do most bi's hide their bisexuality?

Many sites, and others, suggest that bisexuality is normal and OK, just like being straight. But most bisexuals seem to hide their sexual orientation. If it's normal, the why aren’t bisexuals more open and visible?

The answer? Straight is normal, and even gay is normal. But bisexual is not normal, it's a fad. ♥ www.meetbi.com ♥ — #1 Dating site for bisexual, bi-curious singles and bi couples.

The choice to be out as bisexual is just that... A choice.
Bisexual people balance between what you consider normal sexuality "straight or gay"
Just because you have made a choice whether to be in a homosexual or heterosexual relationship does not mean the feelings and attraction are not there. Being in any relationship doesn't stop attraction.
You're trying to make a cut & dry argument about a topic that is far from cut & dry.
Saying that... I don't think bisexual people are not open about their sexuality because its normal... It's because of narrow minded people like you.

Bisexuality is not a fad. It is a definable, measurable, well documented sexual orientation.
A fad is like bell bottom jeans. Maybe you're confusing the decision for bisexuals to come "out" as a fad. Either way, you are confused and don't know what you are talking about. Read up on the studies on bisexuality. There are some good ones here on this site under Research, yeah.
As far as hiding our sexuality, as though that means it's a bad thing, you are again, confused and mistaken. Bisexuals are not like homosexuals who have no choice but to eventually "come out" because they fall in love with someone and don't want to hide their relationship. We don't "have" to "come out" if we don't want to. And with all the discrimination, bullying and ignorant, hurtful comments (like yours) it's no wonder that so many of us choose not to "come out".

"Even gay is normal"? Really? Tell that to the Stonewall veterans from 1969. Society has been changing over the last 40 years. Gay and lesbian individuals have had more progress in regards to social acceptance than bi women and men. The comment that "gay is normal" would not have passed muster even 15 years ago. I remember when my former partner - a lesbian - had it much easier than me as a bi woman. Some ( I don't even agree with most, but don't have stats to support that argument) bi people hide their sexuality because society has further to go with it. At least with homosexuality, even those opposed to it agree that it exists. Many bi people feel that the first hurdle is getting general society to agree that bisexuality is a legitimate orientation. Then, we can work on being out and accepted.

Of course being bi is okay, it's just there are people out there who believe in stereotypes (like bisexuals are automatically promisuous and so on). Some because they aren't sure what bisexuality really means and other think they know it even better than we do and try to convince others about their opinion (stereotypes). I told my friends I could be bi. Even IF they first thought of prejudices they knew these don't fit with me. Btw everyone I told about it was totally okay with that. But what about comming out at school (for example)? I'm not able to explain everybody that these stereotypes aren't right and what it really means to be bisexual, unfortunately rumours spread faster than I can erease them. I'd be tired of defending myself aigainst prejudices or people who think I am that typeof person. I doubt they'd really listen to me because they like to hold on their opinion. Even if I convinced a few of them, what about the others (I don't even know about all of them)? You're right, somehow I hide myself but you should know I'm defintly not a shy person. It's just this non-acceptance is annoying and actually my (probably) bisexuality isn't a big deal for me but it could become a big deal if special people talk about it. I don't really bother if they talk about me but I'm fed up with explaining and defending myself. At the end: I don't hide because I'm afraid! ...And sorry for misspellings, english is not my mother-tongue :blush:

Bi Sex Tips for First Timers




Bi Sex Tips for First Timers 

1. Kiss, Kiss, Kiss: Kissing is the quintessential erotic art for bisexual women, and like all erotic arts, it is a skill that can be improved upon. Your best teachers are your female lovers and friends—women are more sensual kissers than most men.

Kissing is where the whole game begins. Kissing is an erotic world unto itself, as well as a form of sexual communication between bisexual women. How you kiss telegraphs information about what kind of lover you will be. Being a good kisser will make her want you more.

Particularly fabulous tongue action may get spirits going really fast, especially if you are both doing it for the first time, with each other or in general. Your tongue feels great, so use it wisely. There are a variety of actions you can use to stimulate your partner: kissing or licking her beneath the chin, the neck, and the ear lobe will do wonders for you. Occasionally pressing her up against the wall and giving her a wet French kiss will get her in the mood. No matter where you are,  it is irresistible. In short, surprise each other with hot kisses whenever you get the chance, not just before you jump into bed.
While kissing, try sliding your hands over her ears so your palms form a seal to block out sound. With her eyes closed, this added sensory deprivation serves to heighten her tactile senses and focus her attention, so that your mouth becomes her whole world.

2. Stimulate The Nipples: If you want to