Married & just found out wife is bisexual

Q:
Hi We've been married for 12 years and are going through some rough patches in our relationship. In therapy yesterday my wife broke down and said she has had strong desires to kiss and touch another woman for several years. It's torn her apart-she feels self loathing-because she feels guilty, ashamed, and worried that I would freak out. This is kind of the first time it's come up in our marriage. (She's had three experiences, most recently last year with someone who broke it off, and did it without me knowing-which hurt.)
I didn't freak out. I told her for the first time that I had a secret-I fell in love with my best friend in law school, felt ashamed, and hid it from her (which freaked her out!) I used to be very uncertain about my sexuality, but gravitated toward straight and settled into it (I'm about 90% straight and am not uncomf with the other 10 percent.) I also told her I am her friend, and even if we weren't married I would want to help her feel whole and accept her sexuality.
So my q: what should I/we do? I want my wife to feel whole, but I am a little concerned she will find out she's a lesbian, and leave me, or try to get emotional fulfillment from another woman and have an affair. But if this is just an urge, a need she has (soft lips), I'd rather she embrace it so she isn't conflicted and self hating. Are there any married couples who incorporate this into their relationship? Not really into threesomes, but I would want to give my OK first and know what's happening. I also wonder if I'm still bi-curious, which freaks her out bcse she's afraid I will become gay and leave her. I wonder if there is a controlled situation to experiment-like a sex surrogate? where the ground rules are laid out and we can go into it without judgment.
Thanks-D&N

A :
Well you could hire a male stripper with the ground rules that you suck his cock and he goes home right after. Then you can process it and discuss it with your wife. If it was me, I'd let her have complete freedom with another woman. Forget your fear-if she's a lesbian and runs off with her so be it. Don't be the one that stands in the way of your partners' happiness. That will ultimately wreck the relationship anyway. As for her fears of you being gay and leaving her, do something to "re-commit to her" after you suck a guys' cock. Then she'll know where you stand. It will also help her feel confident to go forward with another woman. Good luck.