The Face of Biphobia

Bisexual women and men cannot be defined by their partner or potential partner, so are rendered invisible within the heterosexist framework. This invisibility is called biphobia, and is one of the most challenging aspects of a bisexual identity. Living in a society that is based and thrives on opposition, on the reassurances and “balanced” polarities of dichotomy affects how we see the world, and how we negotiate our own, and other peoples lives to fit “reality.”

Most people are unaware of their homosexual or heterosexual assumptions until a bisexual speaks up or comes out and challenges their assumptions. Very often bisexuals are then dismissed, and told they are “confused” and “simply have to make up their mind and choose.” For bisexually identified people to maintain their integrity in a homo-hating heterosexist society they must have a strong sense of self , and the courage and conviction to live their lives in defiance of what passes for “normal.”
So what is the face of Biphobia? Here is a list of the more common expressions of biphobia....
Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.
Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified “that way” before you came to your “real” lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.

Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the “opposite” gender/sex.
Believing bisexual men spread AIDS/HIV and other STDs to heterosexuals.
Thinking bisexual people haven’t made up their minds.
Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.
Assuming bisexuals would be willing to “pass” as anything other than bisexual.
Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.

Automatically assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay, or a man and a woman are heterosexual.
Expecting bisexual people to get services, information and education from heterosexual service agencies for their “heterosexual side” (sic) and then go to gay and/or lesbian service agencies for their “homosexual side” (sic).
Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.
Believing that bisexual women spread AIDS/HIV and other STDs to lesbians.
Using the terms “phase” or “stage” or “confused” or “fence-sitter” or “bisexual” or “AC/DC” or “switchhitter” as slurs or in an accusatory way.
Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with “opposite” sex/gender partners.
Looking at a bisexual person and automatically thinking of their sexuality rather than seeing them as a whole, complete person.
Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be within an “opposite” gender/sex coupling to reap the social benefits of a “heterosexual” pairing.
Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
Assuming bisexual means “available.”
Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friend about their lover only when that lover is the same sex/gender.
Feeling that you can’t trust a bisexual because they aren’t really gay or lesbian, or aren’t really heterosexual.
Thinking that people identify as bisexual because it’s “trendy.”
Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the “same” sex/gender.
Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (i.e. HIV/AIDS, violence, basic civil rights, fighting the Right, military, same sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.) and to prioritize the visibility of “lesbian and/or gay” issues.
Avoid mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.

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