Advice: The trouble with dating while bisexual

I've been bi my entire life. It was never an issue in both my marriages (to women) as I was monogamous. But now that online dating has taken over single life, I find myself having to declare my sexuality prior to getting to know someone. I don't want to lie and identify as straight, but I tried an experiment recently and identified as bi and it was as if I said I had leprosy. Yet I find when I'm getting to know someone and there's a connection clearly apparent to both of us and discuss it, 99 percent of the time, it's a non-issue. Straight and even bi women seem to have a predisposed prejudice against bi men (unless they know them), and it is a drag, especially because the majority of the preconceptions are utterly wrong: we're "in transition," we're disease carriers, we'll cheat on them with men, we're in denial, etc. Any ideas on how to handle this? Also, sometimes I am with a man who I think is bi or gay but I can’t tell. I don't want to embarrass him or myself by coming on to him should he be straight and I don't want to be inappropriate and bluntly ask about his sexuality. Other than dropping hints like, "What kind of bars do you like to go to?"

You could do what I do and learn to incorporate bonobo chimps into every possible conversation. If bonobos are too slutty for you, you could also try fruit flies, whiptail lizards or black swans--just to name a few of the bisexual animals that can serve as conversational fodder should your gaydar fail you. In fact,

Naked, bisexual, dating a hot Italian: Zoe Saldana

You've never seen Uhura like this! Star Trek Into Darkness star Zoe Saldana has stripped off for the latest issue of American Allure, posing for photographer Tom Munro is just jeans and her arm strategically placed across her breasts.
Looks like she's moved on from Bradley Cooper, too, and is romancing Italian artist Marco Perego. Saldana finally called off her on/off relationship with Cooper in January, and was spotted last week cuddling with ex-footballer Marco at a private party in LA. "They looked very close and were seen kissing," The New York Post heard from one source.
The news comes just after the world learned that Saldana could be bisexual. She tells Allure in her cover story coming out next week, "I might end up with a woman raising my children. That's how androgynous I am."
When asked if she's ever experimented with another woman, she says, "Promise me one thing... if you choose to... ask this question (in the magazine), just put three dots as my response. That's it.''
Saldana's statement has sent fan fantasy into warp drive, forcing her to clarify the interview on the Today TV show, stating, "What was important for me is to get out that whatever I decide to do with my sexual preference will be my prerogative and my right.
"As of now I've been attracted to the male species. I don't know if that will continue but if one day I wake up and feel differently about who I find attractive I will do that and I will be supported and loved by those that support and love me."

How did you come out as bisexual?

Just out of curiousity, how did all of you come out to your friends and family? Or, I suppose I should ask, have you came out yet? And do you ever plan to? How did they react? Do you ever regret your decision to tell them?



Case 1 

The only person in my life that knows is my Hubby. I'm not ready for the questions and redicule etc that would follow if I told my family and friends plus I figure if I tecnically don't have a relationship with anyone there is nothing to come out to I'm just a bi-curious female ;) I guess I'm just not ready i've only come out to myself and hubby about 6 months ago so we are still learning ourselves.

Case 2 

I tried to come out to my mother in middle school when I was confused and questioning. She didn't take it seriously at all, calling it a "phase" that I'd eventually grow out of. Over ten years later and my feelings haven't changed. If anything, they've gotten stronger.

She found out I was bisexual

Bisexual Dating: Creating the Perfect Profile


Have you joined a dating site? and now comes the tricky part; creating your profile.

Here is everything you need to know to maximize your connections and meet other members.

1. Online members like photos. On the shallowest level, we all want to get a visual approximation of who we are chatting with. Avoid shots with you and your man, ‘hilarious’ pictures of you on a drunken night out or extreme close ups of individual parts of your face or body.

People like to see your visage all in one place and in the right order. Obviously everyone chooses their most flattering shots, so make sure you have a couple up there that show you in your best light, but keep your picture accurate, i.e., age, weight, overall look.

You’ll only get found out in the end; nobody likes surprises on first dates and it makes for very awkward small talk. In short, photographic honesty is always the best policy.

2. When writing your online profile, length is always something to bear in mind. Too short a profile and you could appear lazy, lifeless or lackluster. Too long, and you could come across as self-obsessed or pseudo-psychotic.
Of all the profiles I’ve seen the ones that make the best impression are long enough to prove the person has interests, passions, life experiences and something about their personality to pique my curiosity, but they’re not so long that I’ve dozed off and dribbled on my keyboard.

When defining interests, it takes a little more effort than listing ‘sport, film, music and travel’ – I challenge anyone to not like a single sport, film, song or holiday destination. Be creative. Details work wonders and catch the eye.

Are You Bi-Curious?

With all the new interest in bisexual celebrities, singers, musicians, pop icons and actors, considering a girl-on-girl experience is increasingly a socially acceptable proposition. Are you bi curious? Do you daydream, wondering what it would be like to caress the smooth, soft skin of a sexy female celebrity? When you're in the heat of passionate lovemaking, does the idea of being with another woman turn you on?

If you've never had sex with another woman but are dying to see what it's like, you're bi curious! If you have a rich fantasy life which includes other women, and it turns you on, you are bi curious.

It's no surprise that so many women are bi curious. It's been noted that nearly every woman is bi curious to some extent. More than half of the heterosexual women in a recent Boise State University study indicated they were bi-curious and the number increases as women age. Over 60% of the heterosexual women in the study were sexually attracted to other women. 50% had fantasies about other women and 45% had kissed another woman.

Lisa Diamond PhD, a psychologist at the University of Utah, did a lengthy study following women who were interested in other women, over the course of 15 years, documenting their relationships and sexual self labels. Over time, the labels the women chose for themselves changed with one key similarity; the older they got, the more prone they were to identify as unlabeled.

This indicates that our sexuality is not so well defined and may not become more clear as time goes by, but rather more diverse and therefore less likely to fit into the confines of a limited sexual label. Our desires and preferences may change over time. With a more relaxed perspective on varying sexual orientations, more women are testing the waters and following their curiosity to its logical end – experience.

The actual number of bi-curious women is hard to estimate. Likewise, the number of bisexual women is a mystery, although most believe the numbers of both are much higher than previously thought. Life is a journey and human sexuality is meant to be explored. We only live one life, so why not make the most of it? Get off the bench, experiment, explore and find what makes you happy. Why limit yourself?

Long Distance Relationships

You are a bisexual woman. You join BiCupid and meet a special friend. Online you can meet many different and interesting people. Some you will really get to like and others you won't be too sure about.

When dating online, you can end up chatting regularly to a particular person, maybe because you feel you have a lot in common or maybe you feel that you just "click".

You can spend months talking to someone and almost feel as though you know her, and missing a day talking to her may make your life feel a little empty. Maybe you text regularly too and are always excited to hear from her. You want to know what she's up to and make small talk. But what if your new chat girlfriend lives far away? What about distance? What if the person you really like isn't local, but a considerable distance away? Maybe in another city altogether, or another state? What do you do? Stay friends? Allow the relationship to progress? There is a lot to consider.

If you've only chatted online but frequently and feel a connection, take the next step and spend some phone time with her to get to know as much as possible about her. This is a critical step to deciding whether to actually meet her in person.
Before you really get involved in a long distance relationship with her, ask yourself the following questions. If you

Free Bisexual - Bi Sexual Dating For Singles And Couples

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We are owned, managed and operated by bi women for bisexual and bi curious women, and we are truly and totally free.

Have a question about bisexuality? This is the place for answers and support. We have the Largest Bisexual and Bi Curious Library on the web, with articles, live chat, news,videos, a Bisexual Blog and a Forum for Bi Women.

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We are the place where you will meet others like you, make friends, get advice, make a date, have some fun and more.
Bisexual Women on UsBiGirls.comRegistration and all membership benefits are truly and totally free!

You need to Join to use many of the features of this site to help protect the privacy of our members. This includes the member chat room, profiles, writing a blog, viewing member photos, private videos and other content that is "members only" for member security. No personal or contact information is available to non-members.

EverMeet Bisexual Women on UsBiGirls.comy effort is made to exclude men from this site and to provide a safe and secure environment for women to openly express their sexuality. We are "non-sleaze" and we are not a pornographic site. Your privacy is important to us; we will never disclose your information and unlike MySpace, Facebook, CraigsList and others, what you do here...stays here! 

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I Think I Might Be Bisexual...

What does it mean to be bi?

Bisexuals are people who are attracted to more than one sex. Everything else you’ve heard is just myths and stereotypes. It isn’t necessary to be equally attracted to men and women, to be involved in multiple relationships, or to be obsessed with sex. You can be celibate and still be bisexual. It’s all a matter of who you find attractive.

How do I know if I'm bisexual?

You may not know what to call your sexual feelings or whether you feel sufficiently attracted to multiple sexes to consider yourself bisexual. You don’t have to rush and decide how to label yourself right now. Our sexual identities develop over time.
How you see yourself is the key to a sexual identity. Many people engage in sexual activity with both females and males, yet do not identify as bisexual. Other people engage in sexual relations with only one sex, or do not have sex at all, yet consider themselves bisexual. There is no behavioral “test” to determine whether or not one is bisexual.

Am I normal?

Yes, you are normal. It is perfectly natural for people to be attracted to more than one sex. When Dr. Alfred Kinsey studied sexuality in the U.S., he discovered that nearly half of the people he interviewed had a history of sex with both females and males during their lifetime.

Married Bisexual : 25 reasons to stay married

I saw this and thought i would share: 25 reasons to stay married. (I did not stay married myself, lol!)

25. I like having an excuse not to go out with sleazy people from work.
24. What better birth control is there than not sleeping with my husband?
23. Everyone else thinks I'm happy...including my husband.
22. I'm more attractive to men because I'm taken.
21. My boyfriend is cheating on his wife with me, and therefore would not make a good husband.
20. My husband is more intimidating to would-be home invasion robbers than I am.
19. My husband fixes things around the house that would be expensive to pay someone todo.
18. Complaining about my husband gives me something to talk about with others.
17. I’m so mentally unstable he might actually get sole custody of the kids.
16. My schedule is too hectic for the court appearances.
15. It’s easier and cheaper to just ignore my husband than pay for counseling or a lawyer.
14. No one else will deal with all the crap I put my husband through.
13. I’ve already got my husband trained. Why should someone else benefit from all my hard work?
12. He’s warm and winters are cold at night.
11. STDs…
10. A divorcee in her 30s with a kid isn’t too marketable.
9. Someone else might make me actually do housework.
8. I’ll have to split our possessions, while right now they’re all mine.
7. It’s too much work to get back in shape, buy new clothes, and find a new guy.
6. My husband might change.
5. I need more of my husband’s money than I would get from child support.
4. I wouldn’t do well as a single parent.
3. I have too much debt.
2. I’m old.
1. God hates divorce. (It’s hard to beat this one…)

My addition is: "The devil you know....."

Why 'Come Out' if you're bi?

Not everyone feels it's appropriate to share every detail of their past with their significant other.
If the other person is a guy, though, I think once you become intimate and start sharing what turns you on, the interest in other women would come up if you're bi.
I suppose intimacy comes in many forms but intimacy, by definition, is sharing your innermost private thoughts, emotions and actions with another.
I know women who have chosen not to share their bisexuality with their male significant other and although they manage and probably have great relationships, their intimacy is not as deep because they choose to leave that out of the things they share with their partner.

As far as being "out" to everyone like friends, family and neighbors, at work, etc., unlike lesbians, who, in order to function normally in society and have relationships, must at some point, tell their loved ones what's up, the bisexual woman can keep it to herself and close friends or whatever, until or unless she chooses to have a long term relationship with another woman. There is no fighting for equal rights, etc., for the bisexual woman in a relationship with a man.

I think it's probably easier in life to deal with everyone if you do eventually "come out" to your family, but if the situation doesn't ever present itself where it is necessary, there's no impetus to do so.

The Bad 'B' Word: A Need for Bisexual Acceptance

 Why, in this day and age, is the term "bisexual" still a bad word with negative connotations? Why do those who may have identified as bisexual in the past feel the need to find other terms for their sexuality today? It honestly may come down to ignorance, misinformation, and a general, overarching need for more education on the subject and the sexuality.

Just last week Texas State Representative Mary Gonzalez came out as pansexual, explaining that the term "bisexual" did not adequately describe her attraction to people all along the gender spectrum. This is likely because there remains a widespread assumption that "bisexual" relates to a gender "binary" -- in other words, the idea that gender is just male and female, men and women, one or the other of only two options. However, this is not the case.

Let me pause here to say that until fairly recently, I, too, was under the impression that if I identified as bisexual, I was negating the fact that I've dated individuals who identify as genderqueer and transgender, and the fact that I am attracted to individuals who do not fit into the "male" and "female" boxes where gender identity is concerned. For years, I identified as "bisexual" as well as "pansexual" in an effort to properly explain to others my sexual identity and desires.

20 winning tips for bisexual dating safety


Glad to know that you are starting to open yourself up to dating again. But use common sense along with safety.

1. On the internet look out for people only interested in sex, most likely that's what they were doing before the internet and you want to live, not die of HIV!

2. Don't be quick to meet someone in weird spots, go to a public place, like Borders or an outdoor restaurant.

3. Everyone has had past issues, so don't judge anyone, if it's not your style, move on!

4. You are single and so are a million other people so if you are damaged goods and looking for a new love, know that someone else is looking for a new love too.

5. Throw away your "luggage" and "baggage" of past relationships.

6. If you need to talk about your "EX" go to a therapist or go out with friends who love to listen.

7. Get to know your date, smile and be happy, your issues has nothing to do with your date, and get to know each other not what you want.

The Top Ten Bisexual Dating Sites

1 MeetBi.com

MeetBi is designed just for bisexual and bi-curious individuals. Here you can find sexy and open-minded singles & couples looking to explore their sexuality, chat, hook up with, etc. We also offer many features to facilitate people looking for anything from lovers to intimate relationships.

Unlike other sites, singles here start out with something in common, love for bisexual passion and bisexual romance. The common interest will help make dating easier and more effective.
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