Bisexual Dating: The Difficult Truth About Bisexual Hookups

As an editor at the largest bisexual women's social and dating website in the world, I have decided that it's about time that we started addressing some realities about bisexual women and bisexual dating.

The truth is that meeting other bisexual women for dating, relationships or just sexual fulfillment is hard and anything but simple!

If I am straight, unencumbered and available then finding a date, even for a one night stand, is fairly easy in today's world. The number of methods I have to meet and successfully connect with someone new is quite high: I have bars, clubs, dating sites, my workplace and social activies where I can meet and cultivate personal relationships.
This is also true for the openly gay. In fact, in addition to the opportunities above, the gay/lesbian community is active and aggressivly promotes events, social get-togethers and mixers. They even sponsor a parade each year in Gay Pride events worldwide.


But bisexuals, and espically bisexual women, do not typically admit, promote or advertise their sexuality. Their opportunities for interacting with and recognizing other bisexual women are severely limited.
Why? Because bisexual women are usually involved in life scenarios that restrict the open display of their sexual nature.
Because our bisexuality affects others!
We are wives to men, girlfriends to boyfriends, mothers to children, devoted members to our church, socially established, daughters to families and workers in companies that hinder our ability and willingness, to openly display our sexuality. Typically, bisexual women discover their bisexual temperment after they have established a lifestyle, and made some serious commitments and lifetime descisions - like getting married and having children.
In other words, I have made committments and I have to keep them. Or at the very least, I must work within the confines of the promises and decisions I have made.
On Meetbi.com we have hundreds of married bisexual members. And while many bi's claim their husbands accept their sexual orientation, a husband will have feelings and opinons that must be considered once we introduce our bisexuality into the relationship and the bedroom. For many men, having sex with another person, regardless of gender, outside of a marriage, with or without permission, is to cheat on the marriage vows. Others may only consent to our explorations if they are present, and quite a few push for the ego-enhancing threesome with them acting as the director and captain of the intimate interaction.
And naturally, we want to protect our children from harm and harrassment. We have a social structure in place; family friends and acquantinces that have been established on the basis of our being "straight" women, mothers and friends.
So ladies, for any "bi" relationship to work, you have to accept me with a ton of baggage; and to begin a relationship with me you have to accept my choices! And there are consequences to the choices I have made. You want to visit me at work and give me a kiss? That may, or may not, work in my world. Sure, you seem lovely and interesting and sexy and desireable, but to begin any relationship, I have to balance my husband's wishes and opinions. I have children: do I introduce them to you as a friend or try and explain a complex and potentially confusing sexual orientation?
In other words, I have made committments and I have to keep them. Or at the very least, I must work within the confines of the promises and decisions I have made.
Want a threesome this Friday night? I do too! But I am pulled in many directions; kids gone, husband's feelings, desires and input.
And am I now supposed to repricate and be your third, at your house, to fulfill your sexual expectations?
Will we take the bold step and introduce our bisexual nature into this life? And where do I find the woman that will will accept me, show up on our doorstep, accept all of my life realities, agree to "live around them" and be that perfect person I was hoping she would be?
With all the considerations and compromises we must make, there is still room to experiment, explore and venture out in our bisexuality. It just requires us to be thougtful, considerate of others, immensely good at balancing and willing to maybe go about things in a way different from what we had imagined in our minds. Perhaps the confines of our regular lives will require that we manage our explorations differently than we first thought.
That's okay though. We already know how to juggle and balance children, jobs, husbands, boyfriends, friends, family, households and social obligations. If we put the same effort and care into our plans for exploring our bisexuality with other women, it may prove challenging, but may be worth it all, to learn more about ourselves, our sexuality and who we are.

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